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Monday, October 09, 2006

Thanks for visiting. I am no longer updating Notes to Self. I hope you'll join me on my current website, PlantingDandelions.com

Meet Fanny.



I know. You are staring aghast through the droplets of coffee you just sputtered all over your computer screen, whispering, "Dear God, what is it?" It's okay. Take a minute. Get a paper towel. Collect yourself.

Then meet Fanny, the hound from hell. No, don't shakey-paw. She bites.

I just thought you should know, mine is not the only face that I've kept hidden from you. (Incidentally, I also have glossy dark hair and an eager, forceful way of jumping up on people. A firm knee to the chest works well for us both).

Fanny is a Daschund-Rottweiler mix. I kid you not. We call her the dauttweiler. Or rottschund.

How is that even possible, you say? One can only hope the sire was an especially scrappy daschund and the dam was the rottie, and not the other way around. Extensive google searches have yielded a mere handful of such matings. This one, in England, merited an article in the local newspaper. Note how they quote a dog expert, like the obligatory scene in every monster movie where they bring in the wise old priest or professor, who gravely says, "it should never have been allowed to happen."

The other day I made an appointment for Fanny at the neighborhood doggie salon. The guy on the telephone asked what breed she was. I told him.

"Good god," he said. "Sounds like an alligator."

"Kind of," I said. "More like a monitor lizard, crossed with a badger."

I bet you are intriegued now; strangely fascinated. Where can I get a rottshchund? You are thinking. And can I get one in time for Halloween? Stop right there. Before you entertain that thought a moment further, I want you to consider the daschund. Get a really clear picture in your mind. Now, do the same with the rottweiller. Think about the very worst traits of both those breeds. Now imagine a 40-pound beast with the brute strength and aggression of a rottweiler, combined with the hyperactivity and non-stop barking of a daschund. Imagine it growling and snapping at small children, including your own. Imagine incessant barking. Imagine a neck too thick and a head too pointy to fit into any conventional restraint. Imagine fangs sharp enough to cut through every single retractable leash you ever buy the first second your attention is diverted. Imagine a problem that you couldn't feel good about foisting off on your worst enemy, let alone the wheelchair-bound strangers who respond to your ad on the animal rescue site.

Tintin had Snowy. Dorothy had Toto. Dooce has Chuck.

Me? I have Fanny.

Now you know. It's too late for me, but you go warn the others. Fix those weiners.

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10 Comments:

Anonymous SBird said...

I love the name Fanny!

Now I have to go try and get the image of her parents' mating acrobatics out of my brain.

6:01 PM  
Anonymous Lynn said...

strangely enough, my father has one of those, his looks more like a daschund with really long meaty legs with the coloring of the rottweiler. the dog's name is Hercules. Super cute except if you're one of the other dogs and trying to get my father's attention. then he gets territorial. :D

10:46 PM  
Blogger bluebird of paradise said...

love the blog on fanny. just look at those big brown eyes so full of hope and love..........
i also like your new banner. how do you do that?
mom

5:51 AM  
Blogger K. said...

lynn, I think the AKC should be closely monitoring the situation.

mom,
i did it with the help of a wonderful design studio .... www.patrickhouston.com

thanks!

6:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I also have a daschaund / rottweiler mix, and his name is also Hercules.

He looks like a really strong daschaund.

12:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have the same mix. Rosco. He looks like a rottweiler with dwarfism.... or a rott standing in a hole. He is loved by everyone who meets him. He is 10 years old and still loving life! He must have the Rott personality because he is very laid back. I want another one just like him.

2:39 PM  
Blogger elkoffler said...

I must disagree. We have two rott-dotts. the first we named kitty. we got her from a friend of ours who by some fluke accident ended up with a litter of 8. we named her kitty because it was such a wierd dog we thought to give her a wierd name. she turned out to look like a daschund on steroids. we loved her so much we decided to get another. this one we named rambo, for the simple fact he was the complete opposite of kitty. he looks like a rottie but leaner. when I went to meet the dog I exspected one like what we already had but to my surprise here is a 100lb puppy staring me in the face. both of the dogs are wonderful I couldnt ask for more out of them. they are good family dogs but good guard dogs as well. both are mild mannered and behave well. you can train any dog to stop unwanted behavior, but it is all in the human to teach it. I dont believe in putting sterotypes on breeds. its the owner that makes a dog a friend or a foe.

10:46 AM  
Blogger Kyran said...

actually, during our recent move/remodel, Fanny got some in-board training (we said she'd gone to rehab). she's a brand new dog. I must post an update soon.

would love to see pix of kitty :-)

1:04 PM  
Blogger tmoseley said...

We are looking at a 4 month old female rotti daschund mix at a local animal shelter and I was trying to "research" the breed. She is really cute, but I want to do my homework before making a commitment. We recently had to put down our wonderful chow lab dog, Beauty, after 16 years of having her a part of our family. I love to train dogs and don't think I'll have a problem with the behavior issue, but I am concerned about the health issue of a smaller breed that is prone to back problems with the added weight of the rotti breed in it. Anyone have any more comments on this aspect?

5:58 PM  
Blogger VelvetV said...

Here is our rottenweenie mix...she is a beautiful spark of energy named Ming Ming. She is hard to house break but great just the same: http://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?pid=925681&id=1520795948

1:24 PM  

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