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Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Thanks for visiting. I am no longer updating Notes to Self. I hope you'll join me on my current website, PlantingDandelions.com

The Cusp

He stands in the music section of Barnes and Noble, the twenty dollar gift card burning a hole in his pocket, indecision burning a hole in his heart. In one hand, he clutches yet another definitive field guide to Pokemon, the cartoon characters that have been his obsession since first grade. In the other, an object of recent desire, a newly remastered Beatles cd. He is ten years old for only seven more days. He is moving into the in-between place. Moving out of childhood.

One night, several weeks ago, I peeked into his bedroom, and saw the baby in his sleeping face. The glimpses of that are so rare now. I gazed from the doorway a long moment, not knowing if I would ever catch that sweet sight again.

I wonder how aware he is of where he stands poised, how much consciousness undergirds the angst he feels as he weighs the little boy's book against the young man's music. I remember being his age, holding my favorite doll and stuffed animal to my breast at night, weeping quietly with the knowledge that I was passing from their world into another, one where I wouldn't be able to hear them speak.

Sometimes I look at my own weathered, sun-spotted hand, and am amazed to think it is the very same hand that once closed around my mother's finger, and grabbed at my father's beard. It feels like we move on as we go through life, but we never leave our own skin. I wonder if my baby self ever visits my face at night.

He chooses the Beatles album, and in spite of--or through--my own poignant projections, I'm pleased. I discovered their music the summer I was eleven, and listened to nothing else until I got through junior high. It's a good map.

We get home and rip the cd to his new MP3 player. Not many "pretend" toys in his pile under the tree this year. I toss it to him over the back of the couch, and he catches it. "Thanks, Mom!" He can rest his chin on my shoulder easily. It's time for braces, and middle school, and talks that I am nowhere near ready to deliver.

He puts on the headphones, and jumps to his feet, bigger than mine. My little boy is gone, I think. Into a world where he won't hear me speak.

Then he skips across the family room like a runaway shadow, and I smile and think, not yet.

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Friday, December 25, 2009

Thanks for visiting. I am no longer updating Notes to Self. I hope you'll join me on my current website, PlantingDandelions.com

Then one foggy Christmas Eve...

With each pregnancy, Patrick put forth the name "Roscoe" as a contender, in honor of a favorite great-uncle. Cooler heads fortunately prevailed.

"Forget it," I said, adamantly, three times in a row. "You can name a dog Roscoe. Not a kid of mine."

Meet Roscoe.

roscoe
Photo by foster mom and Little Rock Family photographer and art director Waynette Traub. Thanks to all the co-conspirators in our Christmas Eve surprise!

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Monday, December 21, 2009

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Thinking outside the (amazon) box.

015

On the fourth day before Christmas, my true love gave to me an Atomic Cerebral Enhance-O-Tron. God knows I need it.

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Friday, December 18, 2009

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You better watch OUT...

DSC07999

Dear Santa,

I have been a very good Boy this year. On my list will be five things. I want a lego star wars Imperial Cruser (Lego) a new safe with a twist combination a button press combination and a thumb scanner. (do all three to open) I also want an I Touch and the new night vision goggles from eyeclops. But the thing I want most

Is a new
PUPPY
one that is part Jack russel terier and part chiwahwa.
P.S. me my dad and brothers all want one

**

Dear Santa,

This year I want a DSI, DSI Action replay, DS Action replay, Action replay for wii, an Xbox, Utiment aliance 1 and 2 for xbox, squee ball for wii, ALL of the pokemon movies and a flat screen TV.

That was the TV stuff, now here's the toys. Star wars legos and a soccer. Everything else in Other. A bike, some drums, a REAL puppy, a lot of candy and to switch rooms with my little brother. My big brother should get a science kit to turn me into a lizard so I can skip math, science and social studies. I hope you have a lot of luck delevering presents!

Your friend.

P.S. I forgot some stuff: Laptop, spy stuff, a suit (on back) and a phone.

***

Dear Santa,

This year I want a lot of stuff, here they are...

1. Bionicle
2. DSI
3. Transformer (Devestator)
4. Legos
5. football

Sincerly.

P.S. I've been a good boy this year.

****

Dear Santa,

I already have everything I could possibly want. Merry Christmas. Love, Kyran.

022

P.S. If you bring a puppy into this house, you have to clean up after it.

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