Et tu, iTunes?

Update! Glad Tidings! Commenters to this post will be entered in a random drawing for three (legally licensed) cds of my Merry Christmas i-mix. Leave me a way to contact you to get your snail mail. Drawing will happen December 5. Bonus: enter the name and number of your nearest relative in the publishing industry, and I will send them a free book proposal! Hardly used!

So, what was going to be an "interlude" post (see below) has taken four hours of my evening, during which time my children have had to endure hunger and verbal abuse, because iTunes cannot publish my Christmas i-mix intact and I just CANNOT LET IT GO.

Fear not, my little Whos. Christmas will come, just the same. Here is the playlist.

Christmastime Is Here (Vocal) by Vince Guaraldi Trio

Linus' soliloquy gets me every single time.

Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer by Raffi

This one's for my boys. Just telling how it was that foggy Christmas night. I saw Raffi perform when I was a kid. They must just keep switching out Armenians to play him. There's probably a national lottery.

You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch by Thurl Ravenscroft

Because my soul is also sometimes an appalling dump heap mangled up in tangled up knots.

Must be Santa (Polka) by Brave Combo

Who doesn't love some polka at Christmas? This Austin band used to come through town a lot. They do a rollicking version of the Hokey Pokey too. I had a big crush on the lead singer.

Happy Holiday by Bing Crosby

Bing, polka, Armenian children's entertainers, it all spells Christmas.

Baby it's Cold Outside by Ella Fitzgerald with Louis Armstrong

Bringing sexy back.

Santa Baby by Eartha Kitt

Because I agree with Eartha that a gal deserves credit for all the fellas that she hasn't kissed.

*Last Christmas by Wham!

You knew there would be Wham! Go ahead and laugh. Next year, I'll give this to someone special.

Silver Bells by Dean Martin

For this, I like to brandish a martini glass and sing the echo parts. Ring-a-ling. (Ring-a-ling).

Blue Christmas by Elvis

Last year, I gave this mix to a co-worker who came back to me with a grim look a few days later, telling me how all he ever wants for Christmas is to get through the season without being subjected to this very song. Oops. Guess I better put a warning on the shrink wrap.

Merry Christmas from the Family by Montgomery Gentry

Patrick prefers the original by Robert Earl Keen, but I think these guys do a bang-up job. Possibly the funniest, truest Christmas song ever written.

Christmas Time's a Comin' by Del McCoury

Bluegrass Christmas. Banjos make a joyful noise. When they're not duelling, that is.

Christmas in Prison by John Prine

"It was Christmas in the big house, and the food was real good. We had turkey and pistols carved out of wood." Hands down, the most touching song about Christmas in prison, ever.

The Rebel Jesus by Jackson Browne with the Chieftains

"From a pagan and a heathen, on the side of the Rebel Jesus." Off my favorite Christmas album, Bells of Dublin.

Away in a Manger by Dwight Yoakam

I will save my Dwight obsession for another post. Hear this once, and you will never be able to sing "the cattle were lowing" without the sweet country harmony line. I have impure thoughts about Dwight even when he is singing about baby Jesus.

Little Drummer Boy by DeSol

I wanted this song for the kids and had a hard time finding a relatively straight-up rendition of it. This one has actual drumming, which is a nice touch. Can you believe they still air the stop-motion television special? I generally start crying by the end of the second verse.

Mary Had a Baby by Bruce Cockburn

"People keep a-comin' an' the train done gone." I don't know what this means, but if Bruce sings it, I'm sure there's an important message in it. Nice calypso vibe.

*God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen/We Three Kings by Barenaked Ladies
I can never remember who the beautiful lady guest singer is. But when she sings Star of Wonder, all the hairs on my body stand up.

O Holy Night by Rickie Lee Jones

Fall on your knees when you hear this. Rickie sings like she knows a thing or two about the weary world. Also from Bells of Dublin.

All I Want for Christmas is You by Mariah Carey

Forty-two weeks of the year, I cannot stomach Mariah Carey. But I fell in love with this song when I saw the film Love Actually. I sing it loudly in my mini-van, attracting stares from strangers at stoplights. I defy you to drive around town while listening to this song and not start bouncing in your seat.

(* denotes the tracks that iTunes drops from the mix when I publish it on the music store. Do you suppose they are judging me?)

There you have it. Who needs iTunes anyway? Or an iPod? When you could just have me describe the music for you, in writing. I could be onto something big.

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Christmas imix, christmas music, fa la la, ho ho ho