The List is Life

Okay, I have been working furiously to deliver the promised commentary on the list from VH1 series Greatest 100 Songs of the Eighties, because we may have some new visitors coming through later this week, and I'll not be wanting any of this kind of fluff and drivel left lying about (you regulars, try and straighten up a bit, will you?). More I cannot say, but Canadians, be watching your national newspaper, particularly around Thursday.
(left: yours truly, 1985)

A couple of general complaints to begin with. First off, how can you have any kind of list from the eighties that does not include Bryan Adams somewhere on it? That's the sort of snub from America that Canadians have had just about enough of, and we're going to send you a sternly worded letter about it someday if you keep pushing it.

Second, word to VH1: don't have historical context lines like, "that song changed everything" delivered by people who were obviously not born until after 1980 and whose agents or relatives obviously pulled strings to get them on the show. That, on top of the Bryan Adams shutout, totally undermines the list's authority.

Flawed as it may be, however, the list is a departure point. And more importantly, in a month of daily posting, it is a writing prompt. Back to the eighties.

Conspicuously Absent From the List

Mike Reno & Ann Wilson/Almost Paradise
Chicago/anything by Chicago
Air Supply/anything by Air Supply
Kenny Loggins/anything by Kenny Loggins
Bryan Adams/anything by Bryan Adams (wtf??)
Journey/Oh Cherie
Jack Wagner/All I Need

Hold me now. It’s hard for me to tell you I’m sorry. Yeah, you deny him now, but Peter Cetera got you to third base.

Am I the Only One to Remember these as huge hits?

Musical Youth/Pass the Dutchie
Eddy Grant/Electric Avenue

Where in the Caribbean are they now? How does it feel when you got no food?

Do I detect an anti-Brit bias as well? What about…

Red, Red Wine/UB40
Everytime you Go Away/Paul Young
Everyday I Write the Book/Elvis Costello
Feed the World/Band-Aid

Mem’ries won’t go. No, mem’ries won’t go. Did we ever get some snow to Africa in time for Christmas, by the way?

The list is life. Working off the list:

Songs I would cover if I had a punk chick band:

2. Def Leppard / "Pour Some Sugar On Me"
55. A Flock of Seagulls / "I Ran (So Far Away)"
73. Nena / "99 Luftbaloons"
94. The Rolling Stones / "Start Me Up"

Songs I would cover as a solo acoustic act:

20. Rick Springfield / "Jessie's Girl
46. The Police / "Every Breath You Take"
74. George Michael / "Faith"

Songs I have covered as a solo drunken karaoke act:

8. Madonna / "Like a Virgin"

Songs that will still make me leap up and sing while emoting to my partner:

10. AC/DC / "You Shook Me All Night Long"
31. Queen and David Bowie / "Under Pressure"

Songs that will make me leap up and pogo:

97. The Romantics / "What I Like About You"
22. The Cure / "Just Like Heaven"

Songs that will make me hump air:

54. Salt-N-Pepa / "Push It"

Songs that will make me wave my hand in the air, like I don’t care:

81. Cameo / "Word Up!"

Songs I would strip to in a fantasy world:

83. Prince / "Kiss"

Songs that put the boom-boom into your heart:

28. Wham! / "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go"

Girls on this list who do it for me:

50. Eurythmics / "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)"
78. Blondie / "Call Me"
89. The Pretenders / "Brass in Pocket"
70. Joan Jett & The Blackhearts/ "I Love Rock N' Roll"

Boys on this list who do it for me:

Um. None, actually.

Songs sung by men whose hairstyles I emulated:

3. Duran Duran / "Hungry Like the Wolf"

Songs I wouldn’t discover until after the eighties:

42. The Clash / "London Calling"
63. Devo / "Whip It"
66. Depeche Mode / "Just Can't Get Enough"

Songs by bands that I will never be ashamed of:

13. U2 / "With Or Without You"
38. U2 / "Pride (In the Name of Love)"

Songs I would be ashamed to tell you I know all the words to:

67. REO Speedwagon / "Keep On Loving You"

It's the only thing I want to do. I don't want to sleep. I just want to keep on...

But I have to get back to the future. You guys take it from here.

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