Childhood Apocry-pals
Opening a plastic Snack-Pack of pudding tonight caused Patrick to reminiscence, "When I was growing up, chocolate pudding came in a can. At the lunch table, we'd tell stories about some kid who would lick the lid and slice his tongue in two."
Patrick and I grew up three thousand miles and six years apart, but I knew right away who he meant. "Oh yeah! I knew that kid too!"
"You did?"
"Yeah, he was always getting chopped to bits from playing in snowbanks when the snowplough would come around."
Do you remember that kid? Sure you do. Tell me about it.
Labels: the way we were
—Kyran, 10:13 PM
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12 Comments:
I knew that kid. He was stuffing sand into a Coke can in grade 1, and his finger got stuck. When the ball rang for the end of recess, he pulled it out and tore all the ligaments in his finger. They almost had to amputate.
I believe he might have gotten his tongue stuck to the flagpole in winter.....or if you lived on w. 36 th street in NLR he took a liking to airplane glue and took up residence in a drainage pipe near the cool kids hangout.
i know that kid! wasn't he the one who licked the steel fence post and got his tongue stuck on it? they didnt' find him till morning. by that time he was a human popsicle.
yes, his name was Wayne.
Poor Wayne. He was always getting his head "SPLIT OPEN." Notice how grown ups never seem to get their heads SPLIT OPEN? It's a shame, because I can think of some it might help.
He also lost an arm by sticking it out the school bus window.
...and he crossed his eyes and they stayed that way.
And when he tried to light his toot on fire, the flame traveled back up his colon. He had to have a colostomy bag for the rest of his life.
And when he peed on the floor in the classroom in first grade, he got such a complex from the kids making fun of him, that he now lives in the state ward on the floor in a perpetual fetal position :( --K
He was released from the state ward for a short time, but then he hung out with a bad crowd and tried drugs ONCE. That was all it took. He became crazed and addicted and ended up jobless, homeless and uneducated.
He also walked with scissors not facing downwards. He is now eyeless too.
He got in an accident and had DIRTY underwear on :)
I was at the party when he took a huge hit of acid that made him think he was an orange...he was found like 4 hrs later trying to peel himself. Oh, wayne!
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