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Tuesday, June 26, 2007

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Ladies Night


"All the girls walk by, dressed up for each other"

Van Morrison, Wild Night


The afternoon of Peggy's funeral, an email went around from one of my girlfriends that suggested the institution of a regular girl's night out, instead of waiting for someone's birthday or other special occasion to get together. The inaugural "Ladies Night" was last night ( I love to say "Ladies Night", because it immediately cues the cheesy disco song of the same name in the mental muzak player—no, don't thank me; it's my gift to you for the rest of the day).

In honor of the event, I wore my Superhero Necklace. We met on the back deck of a neighborhood pizza joint. There were about eight of us in all, a salad-eatin', check-splittin' chickfest of love.

Through the years, I have been blessed with great girlfriends. But I didn't know how to be one until my thirties. When I was (a lot) younger, I'd drop any girlfriend for a guy, sometimes their guy (if this happened to you, I am so sorry; you were much too good for him anyway). Even today, I worry I am more of a taker than a giver in my female friendships. I am not so good about remembering birthdays, or initiating get-togethers, or even chitchatting on the phone. Sometimes it seems like all I do is show up.

But when I do, I am all there. Not there merely on a layover to something else, not there tossing my empty head around wondering where the boys are, not sitting there plotting how to get with someone's sorry-ass boyfriend. Getting dressed last night (on a day my I Ching reading aptly brought up the symbols for Critical Mass and Exhaustion) I felt my spirits lift with anticipation, the way I used to feel getting ready for a date. I did my hair, I put on jewelry, I hummed. You'd have thought I was going out with someone really special.

And you would be exactly right.

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3 Comments:

Blogger Erika said...

Bring on the girl nights! I had an epiphany about the importance of my women friends about 3 years ago. Our 'ladies nights' were centered around a bottle of wine and an episode of Buffy... at one point we even had T-Shirts made to wear on our ladies nights. As more babies were born and more husbands were wed, the opportunities to get the full contingent together all at once are few and far between. Now we try to maintain contact in smaller groups and that seems to work. I have started a 'Ladies Night' for me and my 10 year old neice... thought I would show her the benefits of good women friends now - so she wouldn't have to wait as long as me to discover them on her own.

10:25 AM  
Blogger nadine said...

I started on the Lucullian Delights blog which had an icon near the bottom for an ex-pat blog, and from there I surfed through a few more pages and ended up here, looking at a photo of a pretty woman wearing the same necklace I have on at this very moment! I now have you bookmarked, and think I just might spend the 4th of July reading about life in Arkansas :-)

4:20 PM  
Blogger Jen K-C said...

It was good times :) no regrets! Although we did some crazy things there was a form of kindredness that I believe helped me with relationships with other women. Today I cherish all women in my life, it is a nice place to be.

5:58 PM  

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