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Sunday, July 29, 2007

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That which I should have done,
I did not do.

Home. I have been trying for five minutes to write a sentence about the weekend that doesn't rely on a meteorological metaphor, but no luck. So rather than make you stand downwind from the swirl and howl, I think I will just hang out with it in the dark for a while until the horizon clears.

You see what I mean?

I started a long post on Thursday morning, about what it means to travel away from my children, but I can't seem to find the thread of it now. Maybe in the morning.

Before I left Chicago, I had a little less than an hour to make a pilgrimmage to one of my favorite paintings, Ivan Albright's "That Which I Should Have Done, I Did Not Do (the Door)." I fell in love with this piece on my first trip to Chicago, over ten years ago, where I spent two days—nearly the entire trip— in the Art Institute. The painting looms like a wraith, like a Dickensian spirit dispatched to warn you away from regret. To stand before it is to stand in your own shadow, to be haunted by your own unlived life. Is it a coffin, or a door you could still open? An epitaph, or an entrance? You decide.

It isn't just a painting; it's a reprieve.

Somewhere in the swirl and the howl, that which we should have done, and are meant to do, is calling.



Blogger laurie said...

jeez, i wish i'd had a chance to call you this morning and accompany you on your pilgrimage. instead, i slept. then brunch at west egg cafe (gatsby? in chicago?), and then to the airport. boarded my plane and 10 min later was told to deplane, run twice around the airport with my shoes off, and sing "this land is your land," at which point they rewarded me with a cancelled flight and the opportunity wait in a long line to get a voucher to stay at the holiday inn express for the night.

but we'll always have sushi samba rio. and tonight, i'm holding it very dear.

hope your return home was effortless, and as lovely as you are.


9:57 PM  
Blogger Kyran said...

sushi samba was unforgettable. I loved bonding over courtin' tales.

I'd do it again, any place, any time. :)


11:07 PM  
Blogger Mocha said...

Hello, kindred-spirit-who-writes-poetically-but-shares-it.

5:49 PM  
Blogger Amy U. said...

Kyran, it was lovely to meet you. I wish we'd had more time to chat. Looking forward to getting to know you here.

10:58 AM  
Blogger LetterB said...

I just wish I could have stayed another night. Glad you got to use all the creamer without any guilt though. xoxox

11:40 PM  

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