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Monday, December 24, 2007

Thanks for visiting. I am no longer updating Notes to Self. I hope you'll join me on my current website, PlantingDandelions.com

Fall on my Knees.



It is the second anniversary of Notes today, and I kept thinking I would get to sit down and write something beautiful for you for Christmas Eve. I wanted to tell you what this night means to me; what it is, this year especially, to wait through the dark night for a miracle. What it is to find one where and when you'd least expect it. I thought I'd tell you about the service of lessons and carols last night in the Cathedral, the one I never miss, and I never take the children or Patrick to, because it is my moment alone in the wings, just before the red velvet curtain comes up on Christmas.

I wanted to tell you how my Mom can clean a lobster like nobody else on earth. How much I've hated shopping these past few days, and how grateful I am that I could. How I was on the verge of complete mental collapse just now in the supermarket when a girlfriend hugged me and told me to remember I am a kickassmotherfucker, and how my Christmas wish for you is that you have someone like that in your life. A potty mouth angel.

I want to tell you about Kirk who knew me when and who calls me every Christmas Eve without fail, and how I am jumping to grab the phone every time it rings.

I could write a book about how much I miss my Dad.

I thought I'd clean the house, wrap every gift, make a nice supper, take my children for a walk, go to church. It is ten minutes to five, and the list has shifted from what must be done to what must be let go. The best I can do will have to do.

Including this.

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10 Comments:

Blogger Amy U. said...

Your post was just right...and so is your focus tonight.

Merry Christmas, Kyran. May 2008 bring you all that 2007 could not.

Amy.

Assertagirl

7:44 PM  
Blogger Schmutzie said...

Merry Christmas!

Your Lillet looks lovely.

10:16 PM  
Blogger blackbird said...

Mmmmmmmmmm, I could use some Lillet RIGHT NOW.

Happy and Merry...

1:22 PM  
Blogger Caroline said...

Happy holidays to you and yours, Kyran. :)

9:00 AM  
Blogger Upside Up said...

an empty glass of lillet is a lovely affair. almost as lovely as 2 years of your writing, and celebrating that on christmas eve. here's to you, friend.

7:41 PM  
Blogger Leanne said...

'Cyber toast' right back at ya.

Merry Christmas.

12:48 AM  
Blogger LetterB said...

Hooray for Lillet. xoxoxxo!

9:44 PM  
Blogger littlepurplecow said...

Christmas Eve is truly the most magical night of the year for me too. Blessings to you my friend.

9:02 AM  
Blogger Marie said...

It's just enough, and it's lovely. Thank you. :)

3:08 PM  
Blogger Julie @ Letter9 said...

You really *are* a kickassmotherfucker and you should remember that.

And I would like to be someone's potty mouth angel. I'd like it to say that on my business cards.

I'd like to have business cards.

But maybe instead they'd just say kickassmotherfucker. That's even better.

12:06 PM  

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