The Great Blood Sugar Crash of '08

Those of you with school age children know that Valentine's Day is second only to Hallowe'en on the glycemic disaster index. Every valentine card the kids exchange today will have at least one piece of high fructose smack attached in some way to Jack Sparrow's or Darth Vader's or Dora's sinister, leering face.

When did this start? Is it an American thing? When I was a kid about a thousand years ago, it was enough to exchange painstakingly chosen cut-out Valentine's from a book that contained not one licensed, trademarked character. You chose the plainest, slightly backhanded ones for the kids you didn't like, and the most ornate, gushing ones for the kids you did, and we gave it to each other straight up, without the orgiastic euphoria of corn syrup solids to cloud things.

I think this Valentine's Day post from last year bears repeating, if only as a cautionary tale.

Of course, Mum always did have a little heart-shaped box of Ganong chocolates waiting for us on our bedside tables when my sister and I woke up. I had to keep up the tradition with little Chinese take-away boxes filled with M&Ms.

And now I have to send this email:

Dear Ms. First Grade Teacher.,

First grader woke up early this morning and got into the Valentines' chocolate before I could regulate it. Consequently, he is kind of wired.

Sorry about that, and good luck.

Kyran