I Went to Ladies' Night with Kristen Chase and All I Got Was This Cool T-shirt.

...well, the cool t-shirt, and an indeterminate number of $1 martinis. And a keepsake menu that I set on fire. On the table. In front of Kristen. I also got to tip over my chair twice, standing up to go to the ladies' room.

All of us ladies got to enjoy Kristen's wit, intelligence and radiant beauty, which does make it a little difficult to concentrate on the first two things, because you are marvelling the entire time over her porelessness. We got to talk about the kinds of grown-up activities and products that Kristen writes about on her sex advice blog, and then we got disapproving looks from the patrons behind us who did not find us at all ladylike.

The wait staff all got big tips, and my single dad friend who lives around the corner from the bar got to make a big pot of coffee for four of us. Would you not be delighted to see us ladies standing on your doorstep at one in the morning on a school night?

Kristen was not with the touring company of Ladies' Night, having the good sense to sip one martini, drink lots of water, and head home to her lucky husband and children at a decent hour. When I watched her go to her car, she was running.

I'm hoping it was only because of the rain.

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The t-shirt is wonderful, soft and fitted. You can save yourself the pyrotechnics, day-long hangover and having to send a whole lot of email apologies by just buying yours online.