Star Wars VII: The Prologue
"A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, two bounty hunters and a stormtrooper..."
"...CLONE trooper traversed the universe in search of a new and powerful leader to help them crush the Rebel Alliance. They found the one they sought in a fausty English boarding school. Strong in the force, he was. And fortunately, it was term break. Thus, Hari Wan Pottah joined them as the new Imperial commander, and they set off at hyperspeed to terrorize the galaxy and shake down the populace for candy.
"The high fructose corn syrup made them strong. And loud. And then a little whiny and sick. Hari Wan Pottah returned home, and the rest of the Imperial force felt like they really needed to sleep with their mother. Their father fled into exile on the couch at the edge of the galaxy, cursing and vowing revenge."
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