Internet Explorer users may need to widen their browser windows to span all three columns. Or download Firefox.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Thanks for visiting. I am no longer updating Notes to Self. I hope you'll join me on my current website,


"Oh! I forgot to tell you what happened at the doctor's office yesterday."


"Well, I walked into the elevator lobby with the kids, and there's a tall young black guy standing in front of the office directory. I didn't think I took much notice of him, but at some level I must have, because I can tell you he was wearing a leather jacket with a lot of graphics on it, a baseball cap, loose pants and a lot of jewelry."


"Okay, and then out of the corner of my other eye, I see this older couple, maybe in their seventies, just as country as can be. The husband is wearing a button up work shirt in a checked pattern, he has glasses and maybe a John Deere cap on. I don't remember anything about his wife except she was also elderly. I'm not actively observing any of these people, understand. I'm moving toward the elevator buttons with two kids, and they are barely in the periphery of my awareness.

"Then the old man crosses over to the young man in front of the directory, and says, very softly, very kindly, 'Who are you looking for, son?'

"And in a flash, in that instant, I see all of them: that the young man has been standing just a little too long in front of that lettered board, that the old man's approach is casual in a studied, kind way. And I see me: the unconscious assumptions I made the second they all crossed my line of sight, as plain as the white lettering on that black directory, suddenly legible. I had seen that young man, and assumed, "inner city, angry, criminal." I saw the old couple, and filed them under, "rural. ignorant. racist." In a moment, something unexpected happens, everything shifts, and I see all of it.

" You have got to blog about that."

"Okay, I will."


Blogger ....who knows?! said...

HOLY just showed up on my msn homepage!! way to go girl!!

12:43 PM  
Blogger Rose said...

I'm a long time reader and am delurking to say I just saw your Goodhousekeeping article on recession-proofing your marriage on the front page of, along with a nice picture of you and your husband. Congratulations on your well-deserved publicity! I hope this doesn't mean that you'll be posting here less often :)

1:00 PM  
Blogger the Lerro family said...

Yep, I'm commenting today too, like the previous commenters, b/c I just saw your lovely face pop up on msn with the wonderful acticle on recession-proofing...
Congrats, Congrats, Congrats!!!
So good to see you reach such a wide audience yet again! You go girl!

1:08 PM  
Blogger Doug said...

I just read your recession proofing your marriage article on MSN and to sum it up, You and it are dead on target. I would dare say you wrote that for so so many of us given the current economic times and trials we now face. A large portion of your article was like you were living (each readers)our lives, going thru our pains and heartaches as they happened. I thank you for taking time to help each of us regrasp some prespective on what matters. Also sharing some of the sage advise that your finicial advisor had for you applies to many of us, and with that the $75per hour you paid will be some of the cheapest sound advise for "US" all before its said and done. I thank you for having paid that money, and sharing the thoughts and ideas with those who cant bring themselfs to take that step even if so many of us need to or should.

Keep up the sound words and advise, and I will continue to look for more written by you in the various publications.

Having everything I need today.


1:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amazing post about the assumptions we all have on a daily basis. (Loved your MSN article as well!)

2:48 PM  
Blogger Jonivan said...

you do realize you and Pat are on MSN homepage today right?

celebrities you are. :)

2:59 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

Just read "Recession-Proofing Your Marriage" on MSN Lifestyle.
You are an amazing writer. And you are wise...although my guess is that you would deny this.
I am not married nor have I ever been, yes I have had financial difficulties but mostly in my own head, I don't have kids, I haven't put everything on the line to start a business and yet I read every word you wrote with relish.
So many lessons to learn hear and things I've heard before (in a different way) and haven't paid attention to but might now.
Thank you!
Your blog is bookmarked. I am paying attention.

4:35 PM  
Blogger Jen K-C said...

Ok, being tired and slightly mentally slower today I am assuming this post is a cliff hanger, I really hope it is! I am intriqued. I just need you to talk slower today so I can understand. :)

5:00 PM  
Blogger bluebird of paradise said...

what great endorsements! and I love this piece. I am so guilty of this....

7:14 PM  
Blogger Rowena said...

garsh, what is all this MSN talk? I want to read that story.

But I really liked this one. There is something really sweet about inner city boys.

I remember when I was pregnant, they were some of the only people to offer me a seat in the subway. And an old woman. That's it. Kind of like this story, a little.

10:02 PM  
Blogger Jen K-C said...

I love that what you write makes me think, now when removed from my earlier stressors I am able to understand and appreciate the message. Thank you.

11:16 PM  
Blogger Stickhorsecowgirls said...

Great message. I'm going to keep reading!

11:33 PM  
Blogger Shelby said...

This gave me a jolt. Much needed. Thank you.

I linked to this in my blog today. It's superb.

8:36 PM  

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

<< Home