Blogging 101: Session III

My House, My Rules

This is not my favorite topic, and I think we should spent as little time with it as possible. But trolls do exist, and newbie bloggers need the heads up. A friend of mine started a blog a few years ago, and was attacked by a very nasty troll in her first month. His/her vicious comments shook her up badly, and she locked the blog down.

In her case, it was a drive-by troll, the kind of belligerence that Kate of Sweet Salty once perfectly characterized as a dog barking out the open window of a speeding car. It's just random meanness—the online equivalent of vandals tipping over flower pots. I hope it never happens to you, but if it does, I hope you won't stop planting flowers.

A troll is someone who is unhappy, bored, unhinged, or just plain mean enough to want to take it out on someone else. Trolls are looking for a diversion from their own misery. The general consensus among bloggers has been not to give them one. If you encounter a troll, treat it as if you would a wild dog. Cross the street. Don't make eye contact. Wait for them to move on. Most trolls are just really lonely people. They'll take negative attention if it's the only attention they can get.

Sometimes, trollish or threatening behavior needs to be called out. But proceed with caution. We bloggers can be a little defensive sometimes, and not every critical or clumsy comment is truly hostile. From time to time, solidarity goes overboard, and the torches and pitchforks come out. There have been comment wars that made the blogger and her supporters look worse than the offender. It hurts people who aren't really trolls. And it rewards those who are, because feeling victimized is many a troll's preferred drug.

In my experience, registered comments will filter out most trolls. Yes, I know I lose a few commenters who are shy, or have trouble with the verification codes. They can always email me. I put my name on my opinions. I require that others do so with theirs. There are old-school bloggers who are very rigid about letting every comment stand, no matter what. I think that's nonsense. The paper doesn't publish every letter to the editor verbatim, and neither do I.

I've deleted comments where offline friends and family have shared personal information (like the kids names) that I choose to keep private (sorry, mom). I delete spam comments. I've deleted religious prostyletizing that I felt bordered on hate propoganda. Not in my house, not on my blog.

And that's the acid test for me, really, in deciding how to handle hostility, the rare time it occurs. How would I handle this offline? Would I permit it in my living room? Would I dignify it with a response if it was shouted by a crazy person on the sidewalk? Would I round up all my friends and neighbors to shout back at them? If someone kicks over my flower pot, and tells me I had it coming for putting my flower pot out there on my front porch, do I accept that?

Of course not. Those people can keep moving. The rest of you, come in! Let's put some coffee on. I'm so happy you're here.

Up next week: Blogging kids.