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Tuesday, May 12, 2009

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The Half-Assed Hitch Knot Post


Remember the hermit crabs? It's okay if you don't, because I myself go days, sometimes weeks, forgetting we have them. Then I remember, and pick up the shells one by one to see if any are still alive. Incredibly, we still have three of them (one didn't make it through our 2007 trip to Ireland, but that was on my Mom's watch). They are the most long-lived hermit crabs of anyone I know, who is not living in their parents' basement, running websites about hermit crabs. As you can see by the above pictured specimen, they are doing just fine (uh, dude, that wouldn't be a piece of someone's claw you're about to eat there, would it? ).

"I don't know what it says about us that we are able to create perfect living conditions for something that apparently thrives on neglect," I said to Patrick.

"I don't know what you mean," he said from behind his computer, as a half-naked child walked by carrying a box of Froot Loops.

Posting to my blog these days is like lifting the screen of the hermit crab tank and turning over shells. I think none of you will still be here, and yet, there you are, all cute and shiny-eyed (and hopefully not eating each other—does that crab look guilty to you?).

Book writing is seriously cramping my blog. When I signed the deal, I briefly entertained the notion of taking a blog sabbatical. But I just can't do it. I'd miss it, and I'd miss you. I miss your comments so much in the book writing process, I've had to start sending my editor single chapters as I complete them, just so I can feel like the words are going out to someone. My deadline is this fall. I hope you all can just thrive on the neglect a few months longer.

In the meantime, things are just going to continue be a little half-assed around here (books, as it turns out, require one's whole ass). I am finding it easy to keep up my Noteworthy blog, because over there, I can blog about cupcakes and fluffy bath towels without shame.

Maybe I can learn to live with posting "lite" here at Notes. In addition to the final installment of Blogging 101, I'm aware of some other story lines left hanging. I'll do a proper on the Blog tutorial, but in unapologetic half-assed fashion, here's a gathering of the other loose threads:

  • True Moms Book Event: Rained. But still well attended. Thanks!
  • Mom: Rained most of the time. Gone home to May snow.
  • Bunny: Still here. Getting bold. Likes carrots.
  • Clothes Dryer: Still broken. Clothesline alternative less charming with record consecutive days of rain. New dryer on order.
  • Tortoise: Released into backyard. "Slow and steady" motto revised to "sink or swim."

Thanks for hanging around.

(Hey, what's that in your mouth? Drop it! DROP IT!)



Blogger Lindsay said...


I feel for your mom. We returned home from vacay in Vegas yesterday to Northern Canada and f#$king snow as well.

Annnnd, if you just quit washing clothes altogether then you won't need a dryer or a clothesline. More time for the book!!!

8:36 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

It's a pleasure to "hang around" for you. I promise to not to eat anyone while waiting. You made me laugh.

8:56 PM  
Blogger Cid said...

I can understand your need to get feedback on each chapter, we live in an immediate response world, for better or worse. I know I eagerly await comments on each post as some sort of validation that yes, in fact, despite rumours to the contrary and my children's unparalleled ability to ignore me, I am still here.

8:43 AM  
Blogger Christa said...

Half-assed is my modus operandi.

11:37 AM  
Blogger Fidget said...

the crabs would be a perfect pet if they did laundry

3:59 PM  
Blogger Jen K-C said...

I'm still reading so you keep writing. I don't require much care either! Have a great day.

12:07 PM  
Blogger Jenny said...

For some reason, I like to eat almonds while reading your newest post. Lots of them. The less you write, the more svelte I may become. So thanks for allowing the season of neglect to coincide with bikini weather!

12:51 PM  
Blogger Suzanne said...

I love this blog, so I'm very glad that you are going to continue to post from time to time. BTW, we had hermit crabs in the yard at school when I was in kindergarten and they seemed to do just find out there in the wilderness!

3:25 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

We're behind you all the way! Getting a book deal is a big deal. Especially with the publishing world the way it is. You just have to promise to blog from the book tour.


3:45 PM  
Blogger Belinda said...

It's not "half-assed." It's "half fast." Which is still, you know, fast. Which is perfectly acceptable.

11:47 PM  
Blogger Tis I said...

W're rooting for you ...( :-) ). Getting those chapters done is goodness. It takes away the tempatation to pick, poke, re-do...Yes. It sounds like you are going along fine, although I appreciate it may not feel like that to you. Stay cool.


11:15 AM  
Blogger HaikuKelly said...

Good luck with the book project!

On another note. . . one of my girlfriends has an iguana in her basement that sounds a bit like your hermit crabs.

Every year for the last ten years, her Christmas letter ends with these words:

Farley the iguana is still alive.

8:01 AM  
Blogger Von said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

12:35 AM  
Blogger Von said...

I have enjoyed your blog for ages and just wanted to delurk to cheer you on. I'm not sure what you're writing but I know it will be fabulous. You're one of the people I have to make sure I'm not trying to emulate when I write!

As for hermit crabs, I'm ashamed to say I managed to lose one we were crab sitting. Who knew they could climb out of their little houses?! I imagine it sometimes as our invisible backyard flaneur. Von

1:02 AM  

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